Not Always Sunshine

Not Always Sunshine
Yes…. Life is not always sunshine. You gotta know how to dance in the rain and make through the storms too.
Nothing is perfect. No one is perfect.

But we can always make the best in every thing and turn that downside into a memory to celebrate, to learn, to cherish.
Behind every smiles and every “beautiful/goals” picture that i shared, i have thousand stories too. Not all of them were glorious and joyous momentts. I have my dark period filled with tears, discouragement, and crazy little thought too.
Not that what i shared are fake. I do think it is good to filter what others could see and give a space between personal life and public life, between real friends and acquaintance 😊 Because i believe not all of them really care and support you, they’ll just there to see-watch-observe-and gossip 😉
And that thing keep me humbled. Coz i know i am not perfect, i am not everything, i do have so many flaws, and therefore i won’t judge you either.
I know few (yes only few) of you were fascinating about me being a role model: having a good marriage and now become young capable momma.

Truth is…. it is not easy.

My marriage and parenthood not always sunshine.
It is not easy to unite 2 different people, 2 different cultures, 2 backgrounds, 2 different values and standards.

Despite that barriers, i still think that i have made a good decision and i am happy with my marriage, my husband.
This is important friends. To have great relationship, you need to get your thinking straight. You will never ever find that one person who never makes you sad and disappointed, even those who married for 80 years and more are still wondering “what on earth my spouse thinking? I can never understand him/her

Instead of emphasizing in the leaks, work on the issues and solve it
. It will make you learn, and cherish your valuable moment.
If you focus on the minus, you will soon feel tired and the “fire” you had earlier will surely gone.
Same thing happen in parenthood.
Personally i do think become a wife is much easier than become a mom. I do not need to babysit my husband all the time. He knows what to do. We can communicate clearly.
But baby? All they know (before they begin to speak ofc) are screaming and crying. Happy scream, sad cream, angry scream, hungry scream… need attention scream.

Scream… scream.. scream…
And i do not always in my best mood and emotion to handle that. I feel upset. I feel not ready. Not worthy.

I make comparison to other moms and babies, feeling more discouraged than ever, broken.. down..
And baby screams again. 

All i need is fresh air. Quiet moment, just me.. myself..
That is a hope.. a dream.. a wish.. a prayer…. [This really happen to me few months ago]
But i awake and realize my lil baby is nothing without his mom. He needs me. I need to be there to help me.

So i put aside all the brokenness and try my best to cope with him again.
Am i a failure? NO.

Am i the best mom? NOT YET. I’M GETTING THERE THO

It is normal to feel overwhelmed once in a while. But what make the difference is that you do not stop there and quiet. You wake up and run again. Do your best and catch up with what you have left.

That’s the most important thing.
So today if you feel discourage about your relationship, about yourself… please remember that it is okay. It is normal. Give yourself a little time and get up again.

Fight for your future. Fight for your relationship.

Give your best shot for the things that you know it is worth it!

Don’t stop. Because if you sad today, doesnt mean you are sad tomorrow. Tomorrow gonna be awesome! Unlocked that prize! And you’ll see these days worthy in the future. All the struggles, all the lessons.

You are loved, you are amazing, you are wonderful, and you can go through this ❤ you are never be alone.


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